How to Practice Soul Care: A Better Way to Take Care of Your Self → A More Beautiful Life Collective

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In today’s episode of the podcast, we are focusing on how to take care of ourselves better. Instead of focusing just on self-care which prioritizes the self over others, we should practice soul care. This is a form of discipline and productivity that glorifies God while also filling up our souls. Listen for more on the difference between self-care and soul care and practical ways to include it in your life.

S1E40 – What is Theology Proper?: 3 Questions to Help You Know God Better – A More Beautiful Life Collective Podcast

We have to start our study of theology by looking at Theology Proper. This is the study of who God is, what God is like, and what God’s nature is. As we look at theology proper, we are focusing primarily on how knowing God more leads to (1) worship and (2) a deeper love. Our study of God should inspire us to know and love God more and more. This podcast will dive into 3 questions that will help you to know God better to start your study of Theology Proper. The Deuteronomy 34 passage is actually EXODUS* 34:5-7. Sorry! View the full post here. Get the Doctrine and Theology Cheat Sheet Here. Get a list of the names of God here. Get a copy of our personal statement of faith creation guide here. Get “Building Our Foundations: 10 Week Study” here. . Visit our Shop to get a copy of any of the resources mentioned in this episode: Read the full post here. I’m your host, Cayce Fletcher, and you can learn a little bit more about me here. While you’re here, would you consider leaving a comment, rating, or review? You can find our podcast, A More Beautiful Life Collective Podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts. Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, or watch on YouTube. Subscribe to the blog for access to our latest content and some freebies. I love creating and sharing resources with you. You can find all of our resources at A More Beautiful Life Collective Shop. Keep creating a life you love, and cultivating your heart for God.

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We have been talking about habits during Season 1 of the podcast. If you are interested in learning more about how to create better habits that stick, you can listen to episodes 1 and 2 of the Podcast. Throughout much of this season, we’ve been talking about Christian habits, otherwise known as spiritual disciplines. We’ve discussed our technology use, our quiet time routines, prayer, and family discipleship. Always, we are centering our habits and routines on the goal of making God’s kingdom known.

Habits < Building a Strong Moral Character

As I’ve been thinking about some of these routines, I’ve been thinking about ways to sustainably add habits to our lives that work to change us as we work to change them. It can be easy to feel overwhelmed by all the things that we feel pressured to do. I think that we should always aim to be the most healthy mature version of ourselves we can be, which involves incorporating these habits. At the same time, we need to understand that Christ has already done all of the work that needs to be done on the cross. We are already justified. My salvation does not hinge on completing any kind of checklist or creating the perfect routine.

We have a danger in this society to fall into extremes. I was listening to a podcast that gave a quick recap of an ancient idea from Greek Philosophy. The philosopher Aristotle stated that virtue was the balance between two vices. Think of a spectrum. On one side is the ‘virtue in excess’ which then becomes a vice. On the other side is the absence of virtue which is also a vice. Virtue would land in the middle of the spectrum, called the Mean (think of mean in math too – it’s the average). So for instance, if the virtue is courage, then you would have two vices on either side. Courage in excess becomes rashness or foolishness. Depleted courage would become cowardice.

As we think about our Christian walk, we also have to strike a balance between two extremes to achieve the virtue of being a mature Christian who produces fruit. In excess, we can become legalistic – fearing that we must work to earn God’s grace. In depletion, we can become lazy – believing that nothing else is required of us except to exist.

Our salvation isn’t dependent upon our actions, but as Christians, we are always working towards the right moral character. We are working towards righteousness. As Aristotle said, “Habits make for repetitive and predictable behavior, but character gives moral equilibrium to a life.” Habits by themselves do not produce righteousness. We pursue character, acting with integrity, and thus produce good works. We try to train our habits so that we are repeatedly building our character over time. We are putting ourselves in a position where our character is tested and strengthened.

Now, this seems like a strange statement in the context of modern society probably because (1) we are worried about putting ourselves in bad situations and (2) we have a modern aversion to being uncomfortable. I’m not talking about putting yourself in a situation where you will be tempted. I’m talking about training your choices so that they reflect the moral values you have.

For instance, if you value hospitality, you should create a habit of inviting people into your home. Then, you put yourself into a position where you have to train your moral character when you do that. How does hospitality train your moral character? You have to let go of your pride because your house is never perfect. You have to let go of your selfishness as people come into your home and use your things. You have to let go of unkind thoughts as you work to make people feel comfortable in your home. So, the habit of hospitality opens the door to the training of moral character through the work of the Holy Spirit.

As we have been considering habits, that is one of our goals. We want to incorporate the right habits into our lives so we can have a righteous moral character.

Self-care is on the Rise

If I asked you what self-care means, I’m sure that you would have an answer. You might have an opinion about how much self-care is necessary to survive. You might have ideas about what kinds of self-care you prefer. Our culture has a fascination with self-care today. We think it is a necessary part of human life. That we must have self-care to have a good life.

To be honest, when I hear the words ‘self-care’, I think about the Parks and Rec episode where Tom and Donna have a treat yo’ self day. In the clip, they talk about how treat yo self is the ‘one day a year where they allow themselves to be selfish’ (which we know isn’t true). They treat themselves to clothes, fragrances, massages, mimosas, fine leather goods. Most things in that show (and all of TV) are exaggerated just to be funny. But, I think we have the same idea when it comes to self-care. We think that we deserve all of those things, which leads to us acting in a way where we abandon normal constraints and turn our focus toward the self. Self-care becomes an excuse to tune out others and turn up our focus on ourselves.

Self-care is defined as anything that you do to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, or spiritually. There are so many articles on self-care that espouse the benefits of self-care, ranging from improved self-confidence to improved health. Generally, self-care refers to eating well, exercising, and maybe going to therapy or the doctor. It can also include massages, hot baths, manicures, yoga, and a glass of wine on the patio.

The WHO says that people on average spend about 8700 hours a year on self-care. 92% of Americans make time for self-care every week, spending an average of 6 hours a week on self-care. And, 73% of people say they need to make time for more self-care. What’s interesting is that people say they only feel ‘relaxed’ about 40 minutes a day, despite this time for self-care each week.

Self-care is on the rise, and you can probably think of some of the ways that you practice self-care: pickleball, watching a show, or going for a walk. But that doesn’t necessarily translate into a more relaxed and focused day for us.

Feeling Burnt Out?

I’ve been involved in church my whole life along with other ministries and volunteer opportunities. The world is hungry for people who will step up and serve – there is no shortage of opportunities to do that. As Jesus said, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” We need people who will start every day ready and willing to go where God sends them.

But, why do we find a shortage of people?

If you believe in God, I think at some point you’ve wished that he would call down from heaven and speak to you. Give you some guidance. Call you out and tell you where to go. I’ve heard people time and time again wish for God to give them a handwritten letter.

And, the funny thing is he already has.

We’ve all been called to go and work for the kingdom of God as I talked about in episode 8. We are meant to spread the gospel and give God glory.

We’ve all been called to go and work – but we don’t see a huge push to answer the call. Why is that? Why are the workers few despite apparent lip service of unbridled enthusiasm among believers?

I’m sure there are lots of reasons. We put our ‘hand to the plow and turn back’ to see family, jobs, creature comforts, and our schedules. These things pull our attention away from our main purpose – what should be our main goal.

While idolizing the hustle and bustle of modern life and the subsequent burnout that comes along with it, I believe we are squelching the desire and need to serve God every day. Why?

I believe that it correlates with the rise in self-care.

As people have started to draw these firm boundaries on their time between ‘God time’ and everything else, I think that they have started to fall into the trap of focusing on the individual more than God’s kingdom and the greater community. An example of this is the decline in church attendance after COVID. The Atlantic just released an article that describes the reason Americans have stopped going to church. The conclusion? We’re just too busy. Or, we just don’t feel like it. So, what we’ve done is say that we need the time for an hour or two on Sunday mornings to take care of ourselves (or go to the park, ballfield, mall, whatever). In pursuing this notion of ‘self-care’, we’ve sacrificed the contribution that we can give to the community around us.

I understand this impulse too. When you are giving all you have each week at work – and then being pulled in a million different directions after work trying to take care of your home, your friends, and your family, you have very little left to give.

The article states, “Contemporary America simply isn’t set up to promote mutuality, care, or common life. Rather, it is designed to maximize individual accomplishment as defined by professional and financial success. Such a system leaves precious little time or energy for forms of community that don’t contribute to one’s own professional life or, as one ages, the professional prospects of one’s children. Workism reigns in America, and because of it, community in America, the religious community included, is a math problem that doesn’t add up.”

For those who go to church or serve in church, it can create a tragic cycle. The 80/20 rule is well-known in churches (or any organization). It says that 80% of the people do 20% of the work. And, 20% of the people do 80% of the work. So, people who are already burnt out from work and home lives, get burnt out in ministry because they are doing most of the work as other people drop out of church life to take care of themselves.

Leaving behind Self-Care for Soul Care

This creates a pretty bleak picture of the world becoming increasingly more individualistic. If we continue to have a fascination with work and then self-care to recover from work, I think we will become even more fractured and individualized.

So what’s the solution? Soul Care.

Soul Care, a term used by Rob Reimer in his book Soul Care, is a focus on who we are as spiritual beings in community. It’s reframing our need for rest about how God is the ultimate provider of true rest. Soul Care is just another way to say sabbath rest. But, importantly soul care is something that requires action and integration – We don’t compartmentalize ourselves, dividing our need for God, our need for rest, and our need for meaningful work into separate little boxes. We recognize that all these things interplay with one another.

Self-care prioritizes the self. Soul Care prioritizes God.

In my post on prompts for Morning Pages, I discussed how our understanding of taking care of ourselves has become skewed.

Too often, self-care is seen as a type of mindless entertainment that makes you feel good in the moment. Think of binge-watching a Netflix show as you finish off a bag of your favorite treat. That scenario might be something you put in the category of ‘self-care’ as you relax at the end of a hard day of work. But, there is no thought or true enjoyment in that practice. Often, you feel worse after doing that, rather than better. How could we say that is truly caring for ourselves, or our soul?

I would argue that actual soul care incorporates self-discipline and self-training. In self-care, we find rampant consumerism and luxurious pampering – that leads to no changing of our souls or moral fiber. In soul care, we find a productive sort of rest that is life-giving. Soul care is something that can even be life-changing.

Self-Care vs. Soul Care

Soul care would be an example of a habit that leads us closer to God. It can even build that moral character that we talked about earlier in the episode.

Soul Care would be practices that focus on producing something while glorifying God. A great example could be a night in conversation with some close friends. If you were describing this in the context of self-care, you might have a party, eat some good food, and do things that you generally enjoy. You would go home thinking that was a nice night, and then your mind might turn to your to-do list as you start contemplating the next day.

Or you could have a conversation with your close friends where you dare to bring up an issue that is close to your heart, close to your soul. Maybe it’s something that you are afraid of in your marriage. Or a dream you felt was unrealized and you wish you could get there but you don’t know how. Maybe it’s your concerns about one of your friends who is there with you, and you struggle to find the words that will communicate both your concern and love in the same sentence.

Two very different nights. One is easy-going and forgettable. One would be difficult, but through the struggle, something beautiful can happen. You can grow closer to your friends. You can have a realization or a breakthrough in your mind. You can walk away feeling like you did some serious work but you feel energized, filled up, and ready to move forward.

Types of Soul Care

So what are some types of soul care that you can add to your life?

Many of the things we would call soul care are habits we’ve already spent time discussing on the podcast. You can look through previous resources to help you on your journey of soul care.

Limiting social media and technology, creating a quiet time at home, creating a vibrant prayer life, and working towards the kingdom of God are all ways to practice soul care in your life. We will talk about more in the future as well: Hospitality, meaningful work, sabbath rest, and fasting. All of these lead to a ‘healthy soul’, and practicing them regularly can lead to transformation in your life.

Some of the ways that I currently practice soul care are:

My morning routine and quiet time
Morning Pages
Reading voraciously and loving books
Regular conversation with friends and family
Lots of time outside
Creating opportunities for meaningful work and service
Creative outlets: like writing, painting, and other handicrafts

In all of the things I mentioned above, I am not looking just to pamper myself as I practice soul care. I am looking to produce something of value to glorify God. I’m prioritizing God first.

As we think about the habits we need to include in our daily lives, we always want to make sure that we are putting the patterns through this lens. There are some habits that we simply must do: go to work, cook dinner, eat, and take care of the house and the kids. But, all the other habits are optional: reading our bible, watching TV, going for walks, being outside. We can make it through our days without doing any of these things. But, I would argue that we must actively pursue these habits as a form of soul care. All of these habits glorify God and they build our moral character as we do them.

There are times when I don’t want to spend time with my family. I would much rather look at my phone or watch a show. But, I know that I need to prioritize others over myself. Generally, if I choose community, I do feel better. But, even if it puts me in a situation where I have to work through some difficult conversations, I can still see how that choice has built my moral character – it’s made me a better person. Through work and other creative endeavors, we learn perseverance and a solid work ethic. Through reading and listening to others, we learn about the value of wisdom. Through our daily quiet time, we learn how taking moments to quiet the soul can lead to moments of encountering God.

When we choose soul care, we are choosing to work on who we are. We are choosing to live better.

What do you think? How do you practice self-care or soul care in your daily life? Do you find one more important than the other? Comment below or connect with us on Pinterest, Facebook, or Instagram. Don’t forget to leave a rating and review wherever you are listening to this podcast to help others find the show.

I hope you’ve enjoyed our episode this week, and I’ll see you back here next week for the next episode.

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