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In this post, we talk about why gratitude should be one of our primary goals. This is part of our series on gratitude. Subscribe to get a free gratitude log sent straight to your inbox.
Fear, Anxiety, and Scarcity
We are living in the ‘crisis of a lifetime.’ It’s a surreal moment that I have never felt before. When I can feel the seriousness of what is going on around me. When I can feel the world shifting underneath me. It’s in this time of shifting sands that I have seen an urge for those around me to calmly bring all their concerns back to the center and ask plainly what is it that I want. What is my purpose? What am I doing all of this for? Do I have enough to be able to make it through this time? Do I have enough to survive?
There’s a lot of fear, and that makes sense. Even in the midst of the cries of hysteria, the world is staring down a lethal disease in its face that’s not normal. Nothing is normal in this season. Most people’s lives have been profoundly disrupted. What’s so strange is that many people are beginning to say that they are living through this time of an apocalypse. In spite of this, the world itself continues on. Outside, it is a beautiful spring day with peach trees and tulips in bloom. Living in the South, it almost feels like a teaser of summer with the breeze and 83-degree weather. In movies and books, we were trained that when the world seemed like it was going to come to an end, the earth would be destroyed by fire or by ice. With a deep destruction of everything so that nothing around us is recognizable. And yet, my dog is still barking, the geese and ducks are still flying, and the neighbor next door is still heading out to cut his grass.
This moment is so surreal.
Even in moments when it seems like the world is ending, life goes on. I guess that’s why when Noah built the ark, the people all continued drinking, eating, and being given in marriage. Life just went on and the warnings Noah gave fell on deaf ears. It will be that way in the end times as well.
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In addition to the springtime blooms that signal that my life is still continuing, I also feel the little kicks in my belly. 37 weeks and counting. The baby is almost here. I have concerns and fears about hospitals and support people. About diapers, wipes, and those adult diapers I’ve heard so much. And yes, about toilet paper. In the midst of all of this, I’m just trying to find peace in God, even though my foggy pregnant brain seems to find it difficult to focus on anything except for the spot on the floor that I need to clean up.
Fears and anxieties though are not just wrapped up in this time of uncertainty. I was having them way long ago, just about anything under the sun that I felt that I couldn’t control. It’s not something that appeared when they announced the first COVID case in my state or when the public schools were moved online. Fears and anxieties are just a part of the human condition, as central to who we are as love, gratitude, and selfishness. This is why the Bible mentions that you should not be anxious more than 365 times (though I haven’t counted that up myself – you can learn more here). We are taught to not fear the circumstances around us. Instead, we should stand firm in God.
A Scarcity Mindset
Though some of my fears and anxieties are centered around the circumstances around us, some of my fears and anxieties are wrapped up in the problems and issues that I have in my own head. As a teacher, wife, dog mom, and soon-to-be mother, I sometimes feel stretched in numerous ways. Everyone seems to need something from me, and at times, it seems like I have nothing left to give. As my due date is getting closer and closer, I begin to think about what it is going to be like when the baby gets here. How would I be able to give the baby enough love when I already felt drained by the world around me?
Though I haven’t seen the new version, I always remember feeling terribly sad at the scene in Lady and the Tramp, where Lady gets overlooked by the parents. It seemed like they only had a little bit left to give and once that got taken up by another thing, the parents forgot about their other responsibilities.
Now, I love my dog. But, I’m also so excited to fall in love with my future son too. Am I going to have to choose between two things that I love because there is just not enough love in me for both?
Some of you may think this is silly, or something that I don’t really need to think or worry about. But, isn’t that the truth with our fears and anxieties? Sometimes they’re well-founded. However, more often than not, they are just made up based on perceived problems that are really non-issues. For me, it’s just that somehow I feel that having a baby would magically make me hate my dog for no other reason than that I now had something new to love.
As I am sitting here thinking about this – one hand on my belly and one petting my dog, – I realize that I don’t need to fear this new life change. God himself is love (1 John 4:8). If I am trying to show all the people around me all the love and affection that they need, I will always fall short. I would never be able to give that to all people or even the people closest to me in my own power. But, I was never asked to do that. I can go to the source of all love and from that source, I can satisfy all those around me. If I go to God, I can trust that he will fill me up. From that cup, I can then pour out love to others.
I can live with a mindset of scarcity, hoarding ‘my supplies’ so that I can theoretically meet the needs of more people when actually meeting the needs of none. Or I can pour out from a place of abundance, trusting that the God of abundance will provide what I need.
Look out next time for our next post on how to move from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. You can find that post here.
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