Goal-Setting Framework for When You Are Burnt-Out → A More Beautiful Life Collective

2 Shares

In today’s episode, we are tackling goal-setting when we feel burnt out. This is especially for those who feel like they are on a treadmill for life that they can’t get off of. How do you move forward on goals when you just haven’t been motivated? By using the ASSET goal-setting framework, you can jump off the treadmill and start moving in the direction of the life that you want.

S2E16 – 5 Christmas Traditions all about books and reading – A More Beautiful Life Collective Podcast

With Christmas right around the corner, we want to make sure we are building traditions that help us to tell the story of the gospel and build a strong family culture. Advent is the perfect time for learning, making memories, and having fun! And, what better way to connect with our loved ones than through books? Listen if for 5 Christmas Traditions all about books and reading. Read more at the blog post: https://amorebeautifullifecollective.com/5-christmas-traditions-all-about-books-reading/ Get a FREE Advent Study guide here: https://amorebeautifullifecollective.com/product/the-everlasting-joy-of-the-gospel-advent-bible-study/ Visit our Shop to get a copy of any of the resources mentioned in this episode: I’m your host, Cayce Fletcher, and you can learn a little bit more about me here. While you’re here, would you consider leaving a comment, rating, or review? You can find our podcast, A More Beautiful Life Collective Podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts. Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, or watch on YouTube. Subscribe to the blog for access to our latest content and some freebies. I love creating and sharing resources with you. You can find all of our resources at A More Beautiful Life Collective Shop. Keep creating a life you love, and cultivating your heart for God.

Hello everyone and welcome to Season 2 Episode 3 of A More Beautiful Life Collective Podcast! Today, I wanted to take some time and walk you through my goals for the rest of the year. I mentioned in the first episode of this season that I always love to take the time in the fall to reset and set the stage for the new year.

As I walk you through these goals, I hope that this will be helpful to you as well. Take the time now to track your progress, get back on track, and set new goals as you head into the second half of the year.

What life has looked like in the past year

At the beginning of the year, I was ready to go. I had gained a lot of time back by quitting social media. I was launching the AMBL Shop (which has lots of new products added to it since the beginning of the year). The holiday craziness was over, and I was ready for some ‘normal’ weeks to get outside, do school, and live life small and slow.

Then, it started to rain.

It seemed like it rained for about 2 months straight. My kids were getting stir-crazy inside. The house was slowly descending into chaos. And, I was trying to keep trucking along, stealing anytime I was alone to work on the blog.

By March, I was burnt out. My theme of the year was to spontaneously do what I needed to do. To create habits and systems to tackle the pesky parts of life. That works for a while. But, at some point, when life gets crazy, you start to crash and all the systems crash with you. By the end of March, I was needing a break. I remember the first time I said nap time was just going to be for Netflix instead of the blog. It was the first time I took a break since August of last year.

By the beginning of May, the first feelings of Morning Sickness were starting, along with the 1st-trimester tiredness. I got sick just by reading a book and looking at my computer. The months of May and June were filled with a lot of scrolling and movie-watching as I lay on the couch and tried to manage my symptoms. July brought other issues, camps, and events. And now, in what seems like a blink of an eye, I’m thinking about beginning the next school year, fall decorations, and future Christmas plans.

From all of the busyness, obstacles, and complications of the past 7 months, I can tell you two things:

Chasing all of our ‘must-have’ goals at one time will lead to burnout.
There’s a way to rest well and a way to rest poorly. How you cope with burnt-out tiredness will determine how quickly you bounce back.

I needed to develop a framework that would help me to make and keep goals when I wasn’t motivated. Through these burnt-out months, I recognize that I need to reassess my goals in light of my true priorities. I developed my goal-setting framework, ASSET, to help combat the burnt-out.

But, before we talk about that, we have to discuss two important topics: When we just try to escape the burnt-out and when we are burnt out because we are juggling too much.

Visit A More Beautiful Life Collective Shop for bible studies, planners, and other resources.

Visit Shop

Do your ‘breaks’ help or hurt you?

By February, I was already starting to feel some lack of purpose and fatigue. When it rolled around to April and May, I was crashing hard. The way I coped with my feelings of tiredness was not helpful. Netflix and Facebook scrolling does not help you to rest well. It may seem like a break, but it doesn’t actually rejuvenate you.

Amy Roberts from the Raising Arrows Podcast talks about the importance of resting well. Rest should be something that rejuvenates you and helps keep you going. If you don’t feel rejuvenated after your ‘break’ time, you need to switch gears and develop breaks that actually help you to work well. That’s what true Sabbath is.

As we talked about in our podcast on Going No Screens, technology is like the junk food of our everyday lives. We often turn to it to fill us up and make us feel better. But, it leaves us dissatisfied.

This isn’t the only type of ‘junk food’ that’s out there though. Other types of pleasure – whether that’s eating, drinking, or ‘sex, drugs, and rock and roll’ – can be a form of ‘junk food’ that doesn’t fill us up. Our work can also be this ‘junk food.’ We turn to it to make us feel satisfied with ourselves and with our lives. But, it leaves us feeling worn out and broken down.

Where do we go from there?

We have to turn to the only truly satisfying thing: God through Jesus, his son.

Are you juggling too much?

And, what do we do?

Well, first, we align our priorities to be correct. On a more recent podcast, Amy Roberts talked about one sure-fire way to get burnt out while homeschooling (which really goes for any context in life). Often, moms have a million and one things they feel like they should do, including bake bread, have chickens, sew all their own clothes, go outside for 1000 hours, keep a sparkling clean house, do lots of fun messy projects, be perfectly organized, travel, live in a camper van, host people in your own home, and more. When all of these things become your priority, you start to push yourself to live in a way that is unsustainable. There’s no way to do all of these things at the same time. The ball will drop on something.

While I was working full-time with two young children, I realized that really you can only hold two things in your hands at the same time (both literally and figuratively). Once you start to juggle more than two things at once, you are going to be neglecting at least one of them. If you are working while being the main homemaker/housekeeper while trying to be a present parent, one of those things will start to be neglected. You can learn to juggle better, but you still will be not giving something your full attention.

This shouldn’t make us feel disappointed in ourselves. Instead, this should be a reminder that we must live with intention. We have to be purposeful with our time to make sure we are spending it well.

This is why it’s so important to go back to that theme of the year, those goals, and those resolutions to make sure that the way that you are living now matches up with your broader vision for life.

So, how can you easily get back on track and start to meet your goals? I’ve started to follow the ASSET system for making and meeting goals in all areas of life.

This is an acronym I developed to walk us through a complete goal-setting framework. When we are developing goals, we need to assess where we are currently, set the goals, and then practice lifehacking – matching the goal with the best habit that fits our current circumstances.

My goal-setting framework: ASSET

Here is an overview of my goal-setting framework, ASSET. If we want our goals to be an asset to our lives (rather than a liability), we need to make sure that we are creating them wisely. Trying to do too much will lead to burn out.

Assess

Set

Stage

Explore

Track

Let’s break down what this goal-setting framework means.

Goal-setting framework – Step #1: Assess

Most of us feel like we need to set goals for two reasons: (1) The Calendar is telling us that a new year is coming and we want it to be better than the last OR (2) We are so fed up with the way we’ve been living we just want to turn over a new leaf.

It can be extremely helpful to journal through how things are going when we start to feel the itch to set new goals. In our theme of the year workbook, we walk through questions about your pain points and shame points and try to asses our current situation. This is a crucial first step. You have to know where you are at to figure out where you want to go.

In this step of the goal-setting framework, you are just figuring out where you are at. This is a simple gathering of data about your situation. Try not to feel guilty about any lack of progress. Just note how things are going.

Once you assess where you are at, you can evaluate how you are doing. If you’ve made goals in the past, you can refer back to those and determine if you’ve made progress or not. You can also evaluate your life situation right now. There are a lot of good goals we can make, but just because a goal is good doesn’t mean we should make it our priority right now. You need to use discernment and figure out what is the best thing for your current situation.

Goal-setting framework – Step #2: Set

Next, you have to actually set the goal. Write down what you want to accomplish, and keep it someplace safe where you can refer back to it.

Goal-setting framework – Step #3: Stage

Many people stop at step in their goal-setting framework, but you are only halfway through. The next thing you need to do is gather the supplies you need and set the stage to be successful in the goal. What habits will help you to achieve this goal? Set a time and place for them. What supplies would help make reaching this goal easier? Order them or see if you could borrow them from a friend. Who is going to hold you accountable for the goal? Reach out to them!

Goal-setting framework – Step #4: Explore

Once you start working on the goal – more specifically the habits that will help you to achieve the goal, you may need to do some research. This is the life-hacking portion of your goal-setting process. Sometimes, your initial plans just don’t work. You should research and explore new options that would help you reach the goal. It’s best to start this step after you’ve been working on your goal for about 2-3 weeks. That way you know what you are struggling with when it comes to reaching your goals.

Goal-setting framework – Step #5: Track

The last step of the ASSET goal-setting framework is to set up a system for tracking your progress, whether that’s goal-setting sheets or a habit tracker. This will help give you more motivation to keep reaching your goals while also clueing you into when you are starting to fall behind on your progress.

Setting Goals Using My Goal-Setting Framework

Following this process myself has been pretty eye-opening. I have been struggling to reach the goals that I set for myself at the beginning of the year, but I also feel motivated to accomplish more as we head into the end of the year.

These were some of my goals at the beginning of the year:

I wanted to continue homeschooling my son.
I wanted to start learning homesteading skills, including getting livestock and more chickens.
I wanted to grow a big garden.
I wanted to spend 1000 hours outside with my kids.
I wanted to continue posting once a week on my podcast, growing the reach and expanding the store.
I wanted to read lots of books and work my way through my TBR stack.
I wanted to start sewing in order to eventually be able to sew some of my own clothes.
I wanted to start nature journaling, including nature walks at least once a week.
I wanted to start an exercise routine to help me slim down and get more energy.

I had lots of big plans. Here’s how I did on my goals:

I almost finished my preschool program with my son. He is now enrolled in a cottage school/homeschool hybrid that meets once a week.
The garden and all the homesteading plans got put on hold. I subscribe to a homesteading magazine but that’s about it.
I finished out season 1 posting once a week through June, but have been on an almost two-month-long hiatus.
I didn’t read much during my morning sickness time, but I still have finished my goal of reading 52 books this year.
My sewing machine is gathering dust in the corner of my bedroom.
I got some paints for my nature journal, but it is hard to gather the kids and my supplies in the rain or heat to paint a picture that looks like a 5-year-old did it.
I have a walking treadmill bought cheap that is also gathering dust, and I am currently doing the opposite of slimming down at 20 weeks pregnant.

It’s easy to feel like I haven’t made any progress on my goals, but when I assess and evaluate where I’ve been I do see some progress. I also recognize that I was trying to set too many goals at the same time. There were too many balls up in the air. When I had something else thrown at me (aka pregnancy and hot summer), lots of things got dropped.

If we want to be smart about setting goals, we need to prioritize rightly keeping in mind our current situation. Some things that I set goals for – like reading – I don’t need to really prioritize. As long as I’m feeling okay, I will read a little bit. Now that I’m feeling better, I’ve already finished several books. Reading is just a habit that I have.

This being said, there are some things that I do need to focus on in order to make progress.

As a mom, I think it’s easy to have most of your goals centered around your kids. This can also lead to burnout. If you are trying to do a side hustle or working full time, that doesn’t count as your soul-care. You still need a creative outlet that isn’t a hustle.

So, what are the areas your goals should be in?

Spiritual Growth
Family
Mother Culture
Health & Self-care
Hobbies, Handicrafts, and Skills
Work & Finances
Homemaking

This is really all that you could focus on, but obviously, this is a little more than the two categories that you can hold at a time.

I’d recommend that you focus on just two of these areas at once, and then, as habits are formed, turn your attention to other areas. This may make you uncomfortable. If you are someone who likes to shoot for the stars with your goals regardless if you ever actually meet them, you may chafe at the fact that you are not setting goals in certain areas. But, really this is the only way that you can effectively reach all your goals.

I have a pretty consistent daily quiet time. This means I don’t need to focus on spiritual growth goals for right now. As long as I am staying consistent in that habit, I will still be growing. But, it doesn’t take effort to open my Bible in the morning; it just happens. The same is true for my Mother Culture. As I said before, reading is automatic, and I always have a book close by. I don’t really need to focus on this area to still see some growth.

Here are some of my goals for the rest of the year:

Start the year strong and be consistent with my son’s schooling.
I am recommitting to posting a podcast once a week, but my goal is to work ahead so that I can schedule podcasts through my ‘maternity leave’ time in December, January, and February.
I want to set aside time to learn sewing and play piano to pursue hobbies that I like.
I need to create systems to tackle my homemaking tasks more efficiently, and I want to get back into the habit of cooking almost every night at home rather than eating out.

***Homesteading plans are going to be on hiatus till next season. I can use this time to research and plan if I have extra time.

***I’ll continue trying to eat mostly at home to save money and eat healthier, but my exercise plans are going to be on hold till we can afford another gym membership.

As you can see, I’m not making goals for every area. Some of these goals are recommitting to what I wanted to do in the past. Some of my goals are new and address current pain points in my life. All of these goals help to realign my priorities to hopefully not burn myself out again in the coming weeks.

Accomplishing the goals using the Goal-Setting Framework

By narrowing my goals and focusing on just a few at a time, I am making these goals more attainable. Using a goal-setting framework is one way to make your goals more attainable. But, you can also make them more attainable in the way you work them into your day. There are two ways you can live this out now.

Crystal Paine uses the 6x2x2 method where she creates goals for 6 areas of her life. Then she focuses on two of those goals each day of the week with the goal of hitting each goal twice each week. This method requires a little thought and planning to make sure that you aren’t neglecting a goal. Tracking your progress can help you make sure you are doing what you need to do.

Another format of goal and habit setting/tracking is the Daily Top 3 Method. It’s common knowledge that the most productive people narrow their focus in order to accomplish more. Each day we have a finite amount of time that we must use wisely. The best way to fight against the tyranny of the urgent is to dictate where our time is going. We simply must prioritize.

By choosing your daily top 3, you are picking your priorities for the day. This doesn’t mean that these tasks are the only things you get done. It just means that you are prioritizing these main tasks over others. Importantly, these are not additional tasks you are squeezing in. They are the main tasks you need to accomplish.

Visit A More Beautiful Life Collective Shop for bible studies, planners, and other resources.

Visit Shop

For instance, if you are homeschooling, need to do the grocery shopping, and are cooking a meal for the church dinner, those three items are all that you will probably get done in a day. You probably won’t have time to organize the pantry and deep clean your bathroom. Limiting your to-do list helps you alleviate some shame of not getting more stuff done while also making sure that you actually get what you need each day.

Your daily top 3 probably won’t include things that are part of your automatic routines. As I’ve mentioned, I have a morning routine of doing my bible reading while drinking my coffee. This doesn’t need to be written on my card. Unloading your dishwasher, throwing in a load of laundry, and cooking dinner probably don’t need to be on your daily card either. But, if you have 5 loads of laundry that need to be washed and folded, then yes, that might need to be one of your main tasks for the day. You have to use your discretion to figure out what your priorities need to be.

Mystie Winkler, the podcast host of Simply Convivial, recommends writing a daily notecard with your Daily Top 3 each day. She emphasizes that having a notecard helps you to reference your top 3 throughout the day without being so beholden to your to-do list that you can’t pivot when you need to.

Importantly, these Top 3 tasks should be actual tasks not projects. Pick something from your next actions list that you can accomplish within your daily context.

Now you try: Set some goals using the goal-setting framework, ASSET

What are some of your goals for the upcoming year? Remember to Asses, Set, Stage, Explore, and Track your goals to make the days count for the rest of the year. When you’ve set your goal, you can leave a comment here to let us know what it is!

Until next time, keep creating a life you live and cultivating your heart for God.

Pin2

2 Shares