Hi friends, in these posts, I talk about some of the things going on in my life, set some goals for the upcoming week, and talk about what I’m learning. In this post, we are going to be talking about how to build a faithful life now by leaving behind fear and stepping forward into daily, present faithfulness.
A Month of Reaching Dreams and Making New Ones
This summer is shaping up to be a quiet – and fruitful – one. Since our homeschool year wrapped up, we’ve:
- Hosted our church’s annual VBS
- I attended a National Women’s Conference in Oregon, IL
- Started redoing our kids’ rooms to make a dedicated homeschool space
- Continued to move forward on several projects that are in the works
As I wrote about in My List of 100 Dreams, one of my dreams has always been to speak at a conference. This was a smaller conference held in the beautiful small town of Oregon. We talked about being grounded in Christ. And, as I prepared for it, I had so many mixed feelings: What if I mess up? What if no one cares about what I say? What if I do all this work for nothing? What if everyone thinks what I say is just plain dumb?
After two days of driving, I arrived, and I realized most, if not all, of my worries were for nothing. I was blessed and encouraged by all of these women, and I believe that what the Lord had placed on my heart to share also blessed and encouraged them.
This made me realize two important things:
#1 – Don’t Let Fear Keep You Sidelined from a Faithful Life
So many times fear keeps us sidelined from reaching our dreams – and from walking forward into that beautiful and unique calling to which the Lord has beckoned us. We will never know what we enjoy, what we are good at, and the opportunities that could be opened if we ‘play it safe.’
Part of the point of the List of 100 Dreams is that you begin to think about what you actually like to do. After you try it, you can decide if you want to do more (or less) of that thing. But the point is: We have to try.
If we want to live a faithful life, we have to move forward in obedience. That requires some leaps of faith.
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#2 – Don’t Let Fear Rob Your Fruitfulness: Choose a Faithful Life now
We trade away our power to other people. And then, rob ourselves of the opportunity to reap the rewards of a faithful life. We all experience guilt and shame for how events and relationships have played out. While I was gone for this weekend, I learned of something that brought back a lot of old feelings. It made me think what is wrong with me that this happened.
But one of the podcasts that I listened to spoke about the way that we trade away our power to other people when we give away our time, emotions, and negative feelings to them. I can think about all the times I’ve allowed people to have little pieces of myself through the guilt, fear, and shame I’ve placed on myself. I’ve let these people – or really the memories of these people – become baggage weighing me down. This chokes out the fruit of a faithful life.
As I’ve grown, I’ve come to realize that what I thought of as suffering and judgment on me could have actually been for my own protection. Friendships that were left behind always felt like something I failed at. If I were just more funny, friendly, or entertaining, I could have fixed the relationship. But, looking back on the friendships – and seeing where those people are now, maybe this was actually a protection on my part. Our values are very different, and I’m not sure if they would look at my life and see it as worth something.
When we are constantly giving our power away to other people, we are forcing ourselves to stay stuck. When I am constantly thinking about failed friendships, it’s harder for me to cultivate relationships with the people around me now. When we are thinking about unrealized dreams – or other lives we wish that we had, we will struggle with faithfully living out our calling now.
This way of living chokes out our fruitfulness. Instead of tending, we are pining away for something else.
Jesus says no one is fit to follow him who puts his hand to the plow and then looks back. How many times have I looked back on a past version of myself instead of sending down roots in my current situation?
We should desire maximum fruitfulness. And that fruitfulness comes from faithfully tending the now, not looking at the past and wishing for what would be.
I may not have been a part of something that years ago I would have thought that I was, but at the same time, I was realizing opportunities that I never knew I wanted – and that I’ve been building faithfully toward for years.
And that is also beautiful.
My Goals for the Upcoming Week:
- Since I got home from the conference, I’ve been playing catch-up on projects. I wrote my church’s summer camp journal (a week-long devotional) and have been coordinating on a couple of other projects.
- I have also been working on prepping for the next school year. I’m planning on teaching at my son’s cottage school, so I’ve been gathering materials for that. I ordered my son’s curriculum for next year and his school supplies as well.
- One thing that we’ve done (that hopefully will make a big difference!) is combine my son and daughter’s room into a ‘nursery’ so that we can use my daughter’s room as a homeschool room/playroom. This is just part of me always trying to tame the house and create systems and boundaries for all the stuff that we have – and homeschooling sure has a lot of stuff! I’m painting the room this week, a nice buttery yellow. By next week, we hope to have cabinets hung.
- Because I’ve been so busy on ‘inside’ projects, my health has taken a back seat. I want to get back into the routine of meal planning + walking/running this week now that things are slowing down. (You can read about my meal planning system here.)
What are you working towards this week?
Until next time, keep creating a life you love and cultivating your heart for God.
Cayce
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